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There's Something Against Us

from Agoraphobia by Micah James

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"There's Something Against Us" ("Miserable Lie" by The Smiths from The Smiths)

Can't you see the total picture like Kima, Keisha, Pam? Life is an exam and I think I need to cram because I'm failing. Falling from the sky like Icarus, limbs flailing. Out of breath, inhaling. Van Halen and Joe Clark (www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ1hKtYOx_c)--I might as well jump, no pumps up in this old broken heart. Grand old harpsichord plays Mozart when I arrive at the pearly gates waiting for the lord. Instead, I saw satan with a sword, telling me to come down to where it's warm. And I followed. Sick of playing role model. Blood red wine and I drank the whole bottle. My brain has been hollow, Ichabod Crane-style; fake smile to mask my pain. And I'll ask again...I prayed up above for game, but all I received was merciless shame. It's worsening my condition, insane, my head splits, so to dance with the darkness, it now makes sense perfect. Cocooned in my room, then I surface, and from the chrysalis emerge as a new person. New version. More in tuned with the senses, but still got the same old glitches...reboot. Something in the water does not compute. I dreamt I hung from a cord, and not the coupe. Woke up next to you, [and] it felt like my neck was bruised. You asked me if all was well, and so I started to describe my sleep and what was in it. I painted it vivid and talked for five minutes or more, but stopped when you snored out loud and laid back down, damn what a bore. Sometimes I really do think I'm happy, because misery loves company and I'm so alone/useless. Too much hubris to pick up the phone and tell somebody that I need, or tell you how I really feel about you. At war with the angels and the demons. Unsure what this life will amount to.

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from Agoraphobia, released January 31, 2009

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Micah James Los Angeles, California

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